I think I'm suffering from a little too much exposure to the elements Hunters tree farm yesterday.  Need to find an aspirin  

My son Aaron and I are working 9-5 for the next 3 Sundays for Troop 2 fundraising.  We're shaking and wrapping trees with the troop.  It's a good workout.  It's the Troop's main fundraiser for the year.

If you need a Chirstmas tree, please stop out at Hunter Tree Farm and support the Troop.

A young lady confidently walked around the room with a raised glass of water while explaining stress management to an audience, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'….. she fooled them all… "How heavy is this glass of water?", she inquired with a smile. 
 
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz. 
 
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it.   If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.   If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.    In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress.   If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." 
  
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.  When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden – holding stress longer and better each time practiced.   So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.   Don't carry them through the evening and into the night… pick them up tomorrow."
  
Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment.   Relax, pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short.   Enjoy the ride!

I'm not a big reader of email drivel — jokes and stories — but my dad emailed me this one and I had to repost.  One of my trademarks for making jokes is doing mashups on words to get another meaning, so I totally appreciate this.

New Words

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house,which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, (adj.): Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, (adj.): Impotent.
6. Negligent, (adj.): Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, (v.): To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, (n.): Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, (n.): Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, (n.): A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, (n.): The formal, dignified bearingadopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, (n.): A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, (n.): A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, (n.): The belief that, after death,the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, (n.): An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

I just got this cool watch from 1saleaday.com for $6 plus shipping. It’s an LED watch that forms the digits from individual LEDs embedded right into the band.

I remember back in the late ’70s my dad had an LED watch when digital watches were first coming out. This one is a lot more elegant and should make an interesting conversation piece.

What do you think?

[Update: Maddy Harris was FOUND on June 9.  THANK YOU to everyone who helped bring her home!]

Thank you to Jennifer Tobias for collecting all the information into one post.  Please contact her on Facebook if you have additional questions about how you can help.

• http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002457452232&sk=wall

• http://www.facebook.com/pages/Help-FIND-Maddy-Harris/100961359993544

Attend the events:

• http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=144574325613939
• http://www.facebook.com/event.

Join the group:

• www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=145495945523323 

• http://www.youtube.com/user/FindMaddyHarris

To Whom It May Concern,
 
The community of Olympia and many across the nation and world now are working tirelessly to help find missing teen Maddy Harris. We have been blasting her pictures, info and story all over Facebook and the internet. We have posters up all over our community and the world. Several local businesses have stepped up and printed out hundreds of posters and made them available free to any who want to put them up. KAOS 89.3 is making PSA's about her. We have started a petition appealing to the media to please join in our search. She has been missing since May 7, 2011. Myself and countless others have spent hours upon hours and logged many miles walking and driving to put up posters and look for Maddy.
 
Her father's birthday was yesterday (May 25) and he is devastated. Her whole family is heart broken and are personally following up on leads. I am writing on behalf of Maddy, her family and thousands of your viewers/readers/listeners. Please hear our heartfelt plea. Please run a story about Maddy. If you are bound by policies regarding reporting on runaways then we ask that you try the story from a different angle. Perhaps a human interest piece about how our community has united and is making use of the internet and social networking sites. Anything you can do to get her pictures and story out there.
 
Ask that if someone is keeping her from contacting her family and friends that they allow her to do so… or better yet, to come home. Ask that if she is staying away and not contacting them by her own choice that she just contact someone and just let them know she's ok. From the moment she walked out her door, anything could have happened to her.  I am saddened by the seeming apathy and dismissive attitude towards runaways. If there is anything that can be done, any way that a story can be aired I beg you to please do something!
 
Facebook Profile made by her family:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002457452232

 

Facebook Community a family friend started  because the family had maxed out their "add friend requests":
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Help-FIND-Maddy-Harris/100961359993544

 

Facebook Event started by another family friend to rally the community the first weekend and get as many people as possible out there looking, putting up posters and sharing the links/info/pictures on-line:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=144574325613939

 

Facebook Event started by local business owner to rally local businesses and their customers to spread awareness and get people out there just like the other event:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=145495945523323

 

Facebook Group started by a girl who's best friend is friends with Maddy. She was heartbroken to see her best friend so upset over Maddy being gone and created this group to try to help.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_154361321297453

 

On-line petition started by their neighbor to ask the media to help us find Maddy:
http://www.thepetitionsite.

 

Washington State Patrol PDF Missing Child poster:
http://www.wsp.wa.gov/crime/docs/mischild/Harris_Madeline.pdf

 

Google search results of "Madeline Price Harris Olympia":
http://a-mc.us/lGCWSd

 

Maddy and her family do need to resume their lives once she is home safe and do what work needs to be done to facilitate the healing that is needed. I do ask that this is treated with respect and care towards a positive outcome.

 

Please contact her family at: 360.867.9387 (Jeff and Kelly Harris)

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this e-mail and look at the links. We appreciate any and all support!

 

Sincerely,

 

(your name here)